This Is She or This Is Her? What to Say on the Phone

The phone rings. A stranger asks for you by name, and for half a second your brain freezes. Do you say “This is she” or “This is her”?

One sounds polished, the other sounds natural, and people defend both with surprising passion. One online forum thread on this exact question ran across several pages of comments.

In this guide, you’ll see why grammar books favor “this is she,” why most people still say “this is her,” and how to choose between them for a job interview, a work call, or a chat with a friend. You’ll also get a few simple replies that skip the debate completely.

The Quick Answer

“This is she” is the traditional, textbook-correct form. “This is her” is what most people actually say out loud, and it’s widely accepted in conversation.

Here’s the practical rule:

• Grammar test, formal writing, or a very formal call: use “this is she.”
• Everyday conversation: “this is her” is fine.
• Not sure who’s listening: say “Speaking” or “This is [your name].”

The rest of this article explains why, so you can decide with confidence instead of guessing.

Why “This Is She” Is the Traditional Answer

The linking verb rule

Most verbs describe an action. In “I called her,” the word her receives the action, so it takes the object form.

The verb is works differently. It’s a linking verb, and it acts like an equals sign. In “This is she,” this and she point to the same person. Traditional grammar says the word after a linking verb should match the form of the subject, which means the subject form: she, not her. Grammar books call that word a predicate nominative, or subject complement.

The Chicago Manual of Style answers a reader’s phone-call question this way and calls “this is she” correct. It also suggests why people get it wrong. After most verbs we expect an object, so we reach for her without noticing that is is a linking verb.

Read More: Layed Out or Laid Out? The Simple Rule to Get It Right

The same pattern in other sentences

The rule isn’t unique to phone calls. Traditional grammar would give you:

• It is I.
• That is he.
• The winner is she.
• This is she.

All four use subject pronouns after is. They’re correct by the textbook, though some of them sound stiff in modern speech.

The “flip it” test

Here’s a trick teachers like: reverse the sentence. “She is this” sounds fine. “Her is this” doesn’t. So she wins.

The test is handy for exams, but it isn’t airtight. Critics in the forum discussion pointed out that flipping a sentence like “He hit her” changes the pronouns too, so flipping alone doesn’t prove much. Treat it as a memory aid, not a proof.

Why So Many People Say “This Is Her”

It sounds natural

In everyday speech, English speakers often use object pronouns after is: “It’s me,” “That’s him,” “That’s her.” Follow the textbook rule everywhere and things get awkward fast. One forum commenter imagined pointing at yourself in a team photo and saying “That’s I.” Almost nobody talks like that.

“This is her” comes from the same habit. It feels normal to the ear, and listeners understand it instantly.

What usage guides say

Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary of English Usage, quoted in that forum thread, looks at the closely related pair “it is I” and “it’s me.” Its verdict is that both have been in respectable use for a long time. “It is I” suits more formal settings, while “it’s me” dominates real speech and relaxed writing. It adds that him, her, us and them after be are less common than me, but still far from rare and equally good.

That passage is about “it is I / it’s me,” not “this is her” specifically. But the same logic applies.

A bit of history

One commenter argued that older English used the subject form after be, and that over the centuries, partly under French influence, speakers drifted toward object forms. Treat that as an interesting theory rather than settled fact. The wider point is safe, though: everyday usage shifts over time, and rules written down in earlier eras don’t always match how people talk now.

The “she spoke to her” argument

Some people defend “this is her” with a different argument: the caller asked to speak to her, so the answer should match. Others reply that the grammar of your answer doesn’t depend on the grammar of the question. That reply is hard to argue with. The better defense of “this is her” is simply that it’s common, natural and clear.

Rules vs. Usage: Who Decides?

Behind this small question sits a bigger debate. One camp says grammar rules exist for a reason, and common usage doesn’t automatically make something correct. The other camp says that usage is the final judge, and that real writers and speakers have used forms like “it’s me” for a very long time.

Both camps have a point. Rules matter when you’re being tested, edited or judged on formal writing. Usage matters when you’re talking to real people who just want to understand you.

You don’t have to pick a side forever. You only have to pick the right tool for the moment.

This Is She or This Is Her: Which Should You Use?

Situation	Best choice	Why
Grammar exam or worksheet	This is she.	It’s the textbook answer.
Job interview call	Speaking. / Yes, this is Ayesha.	Clear and confident.
Work call	This is Ayesha. / Speaking.	Short and professional.
Call with friends or family	This is her.	Sounds natural.

Job interview calls

Interview calls make people nervous about grammar. One forum visitor said they answered “this is she” on a call from a company and wondered afterward if it was right. Another felt bad after saying “this is her.”

Neither phrase will cost you a job. Confidence and clarity matter more. If you’d rather not think about it, say “Yes, this is Ayesha” or “Speaking.”

Work calls

In a workplace, short and clear usually wins. “Speaking” is the businesslike shorthand most people recognize. “This is Ayesha” works too, and it gives the caller your name right away.

If your company or a client expects strict formal grammar, “this is she” is the safer choice.

Exams and writing tasks

If a worksheet asks which form is correct, answer “this is she.” That’s what traditional grammar tests expect. In your own writing, you can avoid the issue by rewording the sentence.

Casual conversation

With friends and family, say what comes naturally. “This is her” is fine. “This is she” may sound slightly formal or old-fashioned, though nobody will mind if it’s your habit.

Simple Replies That Skip the Debate

If the whole question makes you uneasy, use a reply that avoids the pronoun completely:

• “Speaking.” Short, professional, and works for anyone.
• “This is Ayesha.” Gives your name and sounds natural.
• “Yes, that’s me.” Friendly and easy.
• “You’re speaking with Ayesha.” Polite and clear.

These replies work for any gender, and nobody can argue with them. You can also simply start with “Yes” and then add your name.

Examples You Can Copy

Formal call
Caller: “May I speak with Ms. Khan?”
You: “This is she.”

Casual call
Caller: “Is Ayesha there?”
You: “Yeah, this is her.”

Job interview call
Caller: “Hi, am I speaking with Ayesha Khan?”
You: “Yes, speaking. Thanks for calling.”

Office call
Caller: “Could I speak with the project manager?”
You: “That’s me. How can I help?”

For a man
Caller: “Is Omar available?”
You: “This is he.” (formal) or “This is him.” (casual)

Common Mistakes

1. Using “she” after a preposition

“May I speak with she?” is wrong. With is a preposition, so it needs her. The subject-form rule applies only after linking verbs like is, not everywhere.

2. Forcing the rule into every sentence

Following the formal rule everywhere leads to sentences like “That’s I.” Learn the rule, but use judgment about when it makes you sound unnatural.

3. Assuming “this is her speaking” is the formal version

Under the traditional rule, the same logic applies, so the formal version is “This is she speaking.” If you want to avoid the problem, “Speaking” does the job.

4. Correcting the other person

One commenter said it felt out of place when a caller corrected their grammar during a professional call. Unless someone asks, let it go. Clear communication matters more.

5. Forgetting that the rule applies to “he” too

The pattern is the same for men. Traditional grammar prefers “this is he,” and casual speech often uses “this is him.”

An Easy Way to Remember

Keep three steps in mind:

1. Need the textbook answer? Say “this is she.”
2. Talking casually? “This is her” is fine.
3. Not sure? Skip the pronoun and say “Speaking” or “This is [name].”

If it helps, remember it as: textbook = she, talk = her, unsure = name.

FAQs

1. Is it “this is she” or “this is her”?

Both are used. “This is she” is the traditional, grammatically correct form because is is a linking verb. “This is her” is more common in everyday speech and widely understood. Choose “she” for formal settings and “her” for casual ones. If you’re unsure, say “Speaking.”

2. Is “this is her” grammatically wrong?

By traditional rules, yes, because a linking verb calls for the subject form. But usage guides accept object pronouns after be in conversation, at least for the similar “it’s me.” So it’s informal rather than a serious mistake, and listeners will understand you.

3. What should I say when answering a job interview call?

Keep it simple: “Speaking,” or “Yes, this is Ayesha.” Both are clear, polite and avoid the pronoun question. Saying “this is she” is also fine. Your tone and clarity will matter more than this small grammar choice.

4. Why does “this is she” sound so stiff today?

Everyday English leans toward object forms after be, as in “it’s me.” Usage guides describe the formal “it is I” as belonging to more formal settings, while “it’s me” dominates speech. “This is she” follows that same formal pattern, so it can sound old-fashioned.

5. Does the same rule apply to “this is he” and “this is him”?

Yes. Traditional grammar prefers “this is he,” while “this is him” is the common conversational form. The logic is identical to “she” and “her.” The neutral options, “Speaking” and “This is [name],” work for everyone.

6. Can I say “this is her speaking”?

In casual conversation, yes. Under the traditional rule, though, the formal version is “this is she speaking,” because the same linking verb logic applies. If you want to avoid the issue, “Speaking” works well and is shorter.

7. What is a predicate nominative?

It’s the word or pronoun after a linking verb that renames the subject. In “This is she,” the word she is the predicate nominative because it identifies the same person as this. Traditional grammar says it takes the subject form, which is why she is preferred over her.

Conclusion:

So, this is she or this is her?

Both are used. “This is she” follows the traditional rule for linking verbs, while “this is her” is the natural choice in everyday speech.

Usage guides show that object forms after be have been common and acceptable for a long time, especially in conversation.

Your next step is simple. Pick your default now: “Speaking” for work and interviews, “this is her” for friends, and “this is she” for exams.

Then the next time your phone rings, you won’t have to think about it.