Theirself or Themself? The Quick, Clear Answer

You are writing a sentence about one person. You reach for a reflexive pronoun, and suddenly you freeze. Is it “theirself” or “themself”? Or should you play it safe with “themselves”?

You are not alone. The theirself or themself question trips up careful writers too, because dictionaries and style guides do not all agree.

This guide gives you a straight answer first, then the reasons behind it. You will learn what each word means, how dictionaries treat them, and when “themselves” is the better pick. 

You will also get a simple decision guide, real-life examples, and fixes for common mistakes, so you can choose with confidence next time.

Theirself or Themself: The Quick Answer

When you need a singular reflexive pronoun for singular “they,” themself is the better choice. Theirself is mostly dialectal, so it is best avoided in standard writing.

Want the safest option? Themselves works with both singular and plural “they,” and most readers find it familiar.

Here is the rule at a glance:

• One person using singular they: themself (or themselves)
• Two or more people: themselves
• Theirself: avoid it in formal or edited writing

And here it is in action:

• Every new employee should introduce themself.
• Every new employee should introduce themselves.
• The new employees introduced themselves.
• Every new employee should introduce theirself.

What Do Themself and Theirself Mean?

Both words are reflexive pronouns. A reflexive pronoun points back to the person doing the action. “I taught myself.” “She taught herself.” “He taught himself.”

Now the question is what happens when the person is described with “they.”

What Is Themself?

Themself is the singular reflexive form that goes with singular “they.” It refers to one person whose gender is unknown, unspecified, or nonbinary.

Merriam-Webster recognizes this use, although other dictionaries and editors do not always agree. More on that shortly.

Examples:

• Jordan reminded themself to call the dentist.
• Someone left a note, and I hope they will explain themself.
• Everyone deserves the chance to be themself.

What Is Theirself?

Theirself is also a singular reflexive form, but its status is different. Merriam-Webster labels it “chiefly dialectal” and simply points readers to themself.

It is not a new slip, either. The same entry traces its first known use to the 14th century. So it has a long history, but a long history does not make a word standard today.

Example of how it shows up in speech:

• Somebody might find theirself in trouble.

Read More: Wide Range of People or Items: Meaning, Grammar, Examples

Why Do People Mix Them Up?

The confusion is easy to understand. Once “they” refers to one person, two logical paths open up:

• they → them → themself
• they → their → theirself

Both look reasonable. Add the fact that most of us first learned “they” as a plural word, and a singular reflexive form can feel strange in the first place.

There is another reason, too. English reflexive pronouns are not built from one neat formula. “Himself” grows out of “him,” but “yourself” grows out of “your.” So a writer who builds “their + self” is following a pattern that already exists in the language. It simply is not the pattern that standard usage chose for this word.

Singular “they” itself is not new, either. Grammar commentators note that singular “they” and forms like “themselves” have long-established use. What changed in recent years is that more people are paying attention to the reflexive form that goes with it.

What Do Dictionaries Say About Themself?

Here is the honest answer: dictionaries disagree, and that is why you keep seeing conflicting advice.

• Merriam-Webster recognizes themself as a form used chiefly with singular “they” for an indefinite person or a person who is nonbinary.
• Cambridge Dictionary records themself but currently labels it “not standard.”
• Other sources sit somewhere in between. One long-time contributor to a WordReference discussion points out that themself has a long history in English. The same person says it has appeared in The Times and in statements from the Canadian Supreme Court. That contributor also notes that the American Heritage Dictionary calls its reflexive use informal, not nonstandard.

Themself also did not appear overnight. It showed up centuries ago, lost ground to “themselves,” and never disappeared. Today it is getting fresh attention as singular “they” becomes more widely accepted.

So is themself wrong? No. Is it universally accepted? Also no. That gap is exactly why your school, employer, or publication’s style guide matters.

Is Theirself Ever Okay?

Sometimes, yes. Calling it “not a real word” oversimplifies things, because dictionaries document it and some speakers use it naturally.

One WordReference contributor describes it as regional in American English and compares it to “hisself,” a form most people recognize as vernacular.

Here is when it can make sense:

• Dialogue in fiction, when you want a character to sound true to their regional speech
• Direct quotes, where you should keep the speaker’s exact words
• Language discussions, like this article, where the word itself is the topic

Here is when to avoid it:

• Essays and school assignments
• Business emails and reports
• Job applications
• News articles and edited publications

In all of those, themself or themselves is the safer pick.

Themself vs. Themselves: Which One Should You Choose?

This is where most writers actually get stuck, because both forms are common with singular “they.”

When Themselves Is the Only Choice

If you are clearly talking about more than one person, use themselves. Using “themself” here creates a number mismatch.

• The players prepared themselves for the match.
• My neighbors painted the fence themselves.

Writing “The players prepared themself” sounds wrong because “players” is plural and the pronoun is not.

When You Are Talking About One Person

With one person, both forms are used. The difference is mostly about clarity and style.

Themself makes the singular meaning obvious:

• Sam fixed the bike themself.

Themselves could mean one person or several:

• Sam and Lee fixed the bike themselves.

That said, themselves is also well established with singular “they,” especially after words like “everyone” or “someone”:

• Someone might find themselves stuck in traffic.
• Everyone should ask themselves what they really want.

So you do not need to replace every singular “themselves” with “themself.” Both are valid choices, and your style guide often decides which one wins.

Quick Comparison

Situation	Best choice	Example
One person, singular they	Themself or themselves	Alex taught themself to cook.
Generic person (everyone, someone)	Themself or themselves	Everyone should look after themselves.
Two or more people	Themselves	The students checked themselves in.
Formal writing	Themself or themselves	Follow the style guide.
Representing a dialect	Theirself may appear	Use only in dialogue or quotes.

A Simple Decision Guide

Not sure which word to use? Walk through these five steps.

1. Count the people. If there is more than one, write “themselves” and stop.
2. Check the person’s pronouns. If you are writing about someone who uses they, use “himself” or “herself.”
3. For one person using they, or a generic person, choose “themself” or “themselves.”
4. Check your house style. If a teacher, editor, or company guide prefers one form, follow it.
5. Skip theirself in anything formal.

If you are still unsure after step 4, “themselves” is usually the safer choice. Many readers find it familiar, and it is widely accepted with singular “they.”

Real-Life Situations

Rules are easier to remember when you see them in situations you actually face.

Writing About Someone Who Uses They/Them Pronouns

Use the pronouns the person uses. That is the most important rule here.

• Robin taught themself to code last winter.
• Avery completed the project themself.

In this case, themself is a good fit because it makes it clear you are talking about one person.

Writing About a Person Whose Gender You Know

This one is easy to miss, and a WordReference thread shows why.

In that thread, a caregiver was writing a job application form about a specific patient. They wanted to say the patient could now “take care of themself.” Several replies suggested using “himself” or “herself” instead. The reasoning was that when you are talking about a specific person you know, a generic “they” can sound distant, even cold, to a reader.

Notice that this advice applies to a real, known individual. If that person uses “they,” then “themself” is perfectly right. If the person uses “he” or “she,” honor that.

Making General Statements

For generic subjects such as “everyone,” “someone,” “each student,” or “a good leader,” both forms work.

• A good leader should know themself well.
• Each student can decide for themselves.

Pick one and stay consistent through the whole piece.

Writing for School, Work, or Publication

Different editors make different calls. Some accept themself. Others prefer themselves for singular “they.” If a style guide exists, follow it, even if your personal preference differs.

If no guide exists, choose the form that sounds natural to your readers and use it consistently.

The Easy Escape: Rewrite the Sentence

Sometimes the cleanest solution is to avoid the question altogether. Here are two simple tricks.

Trick 1: Make the subject plural.

• Before: Each employee should introduce themself.
• After: New employees should introduce themselves.

This works because “themselves” is the standard plural reflexive form, so no one can object.

Trick 2: Drop the reflexive pronoun.

• Before: Each student should decide for themself.
• After: Each student should decide alone.

Neither trick is cheating. Clear writing is the goal.

Common Mistakes and Quick Fixes

Watch for these slips in your own drafts.

Mistake: Anyone can teach theirself this skill.
Fix: Anyone can teach themself this skill. (Or “themselves.”)

Mistake: The players congratulated themself.
Fix: The players congratulated themselves. The subject is plural.

Mistake: Everyone should ask theirselves what they want.
Fix: Everyone should ask themselves what they want. In standard English, “theirselves” is not correct.

Mistake: Assuming themself is always an error.
Fix: Remember that it has established use with singular “they,” even though some dictionaries label it nonstandard.

Mistake: Assuming theirself and themself have equal standing.
Fix: They do not. Theirself is chiefly dialectal.

Mistake: Changing every singular “themselves” to “themself.”
Fix: Both are valid. Only change it if your style guide asks you to.

A Quick Memory Tip

Here is a simple trick that sticks.

Look at the endings. Themself ends in “self,” which is singular. Themselves ends in “selves,” which is plural. One person, one “self.” Several people, several “selves.”

Then add the “them” check. If you feel tempted to write “their” before “self,” pause and try “them” instead. That one swap gets you to the standard form almost every time.

FAQs

Is it theirself or themself?

Themself is the better choice for one person using singular “they.” Theirself is chiefly dialectal and usually avoided in standard writing. If you want the safest option, “themselves” also works with singular “they” and is widely accepted.

Is themself a real word?

Yes. Themself is a recognized singular reflexive pronoun used with singular “they.” Merriam-Webster accepts it, while Cambridge labels it “not standard.” Because dictionaries differ, always follow the style guide of your school, employer, or publication.

Is theirself a word?

Theirself exists and has been in English since the 14th century, but Merriam-Webster calls it “chiefly dialectal.” Avoid it in formal writing. You can use it when quoting a speaker or representing a dialect in dialogue.

Should I use themself or themselves for one person?

Both are used with singular “they.” Themself makes the singular meaning explicit, while themselves is more familiar to many readers. Follow the person’s preference or your publication’s style, and then stay consistent throughout the whole piece.

Can themself refer to a nonbinary person?

Yes. Themself can refer to one person who uses they/them pronouns, such as “Avery completed the project themself.” Always use the pronouns the person has told you they use, and keep that choice consistent across the whole piece.

Is theirselves correct?

No. In standard English, theirselves is not correct, so use “themselves” instead. Theirselves may appear in some regional dialects and older texts, but it should be avoided in formal writing, school work, and professional documents.

Why do people say theirself?

It shows up in regional speech, and speakers may also form it by analogy with words like “yourself.” The logic feels natural. However, edited standard English normally prefers themself or themselves, so switch to one of those in formal writing.

Conclusion:

So, theirself or themself? For one person using singular “they,” themself is the better choice, and themselves is a widely accepted alternative. 

Theirself has a long history, but it is chiefly dialectal and best kept for dialogue and quotes.

Remember the basics. Count the people, respect the person’s pronouns, and follow your style guide. If you want to avoid the question entirely, rewrite the sentence with a plural subject.

Your next step is simple. Open something you have written recently, search for “theirself,” and swap each one for themself or themselves. It takes two minutes, and your writing instantly looks more polished.