He or She? Meaning, Grammar Rules and Examples (Plus When “They” Is Better)

You are halfway through an email, an essay, or a company policy when a sentence needs a pronoun for someone you cannot name. Every applicant should bring ID card. His? Her? Both? Their?

English has only two gendered personal pronouns, and for years writers used “he” for everyone.

That habit now sounds dated, so pairing both became common, and today singular “they” often does the job more simply.

This guide explains what the pairing means, how it changes from subject to object to possessive, and when “they” is the smarter choice. You will also find example sentences, a note on baby reveal parties, and a short quiz.

What Does “He or She” Mean?

This phrase points to one person who could be male or female. It is not a separate pronoun. It simply joins two singular pronouns with “or,” and writers use it when a person’s gender is unknown or does not matter.

Every student should bring his or her notebook.
The customer can call the office if he or she needs help.

Both sentences describe one person at a time, even though the phrase contains two pronouns.

He and She: The Two Gendered Pronouns

Both words are third-person singular subject pronouns.

• He is masculine. It refers to a man or boy, a male animal (often a pet), and in some religious writing, God.
• She is feminine. It refers to a woman or girl, a female animal, and a female deity.

He plays basketball in a college league.
Is she your baby sister? She’s cute!
Trixie loves hide and seek. He’s mischievous.

He vs She: Quick Comparison

“He” is the masculine pronoun and “she” is the feminine one. Their forms change in the same pattern.

Form	He	She
Subject	he	she
Object	him	her
Possessive (before a noun)	his	her
Possessive (stands alone)	his	hers
Reflexive	himself	herself

That bag is hers. This one is his.

What Is “He/She” Called?

When people ask “what is a he, she called,” there are two correct answers.

1. “He” and “she” on their own are called gender-specific, third-person singular personal pronouns (or subject pronouns).
2. The written form “he/she” is a combined form. Dictionary.com defines it as a singular pronoun used for someone who is either male or female, and records its first use in the late 1970s. A related variant is “s/he.” Grammar guides often call this kind of word a generic or gender-neutral pronoun.

A Word of Caution About “He-She”

Do not confuse the slash form “he/she” with the hyphenated noun “he-she.” The noun is widely regarded as an offensive way to describe a person. If you need a neutral term for a person whose gender is unknown, use “the person,” “they,” or the person’s own name.

Read More: This or These? The Correct Choice Explained

Is “He or She” Grammatically Correct?

Yes, it is correct in both formal and informal writing. Because the phrase points to one person, it takes a singular verb.

• He or she is responsible for the report.
• He or she has already applied.

The real issue is style, not grammar. Jakub Marian, a language writer, points out that “he or she” works in a single sentence but becomes clumsy when it appears again and again. Look at this example:

Every researcher has asked himself or herself at some point of his or her career whether his or her contribution was good enough.

Three pairs of pronouns in one sentence is exhausting to read. This is why many editors suggest using “he or she” once or twice and then switching approaches.

He or She and She or He: Which Order Is Correct?

Both orders are correct. English has no grammar rule that forces “he” to come first.

“He or she” is the older habit, but “she or he” is also common. Pick one order and keep it the same through your piece.

She or he can sign the form.
He or she can sign the form.

Switching back and forth between the two can confuse readers, so avoid mixing them. Also remember the small difference: use “or” for one person (“He or she is ready”) and “and” for two people (“He and she are ready”).

Whichever order you choose, the Chicago Manual of Style prefers “he or she” over slash forms like “he/she” or “s/he.”

Is “She” Singular or Plural? (Plural of He and She)

“She” and “he” are both singular. Neither has a plural form. To talk about more than one person, use “they” (subject) or “them” (object).

She is a doctor. → They are doctors.
He plays chess. → They play chess.

Notice the verb too. “He plays” and “she plays” take the -s ending, while “they play” does not.

“He and she” together is plural because it means two people:

• He and she are friends.
• He or she is responsible. (one person)

I, You, He, She, It, We, They: Subject Pronouns with Sentences

“He” and “she” belong to a small family. Subject pronouns replace the noun that performs the action of the verb. Here is the full set, with a simple sentence for each.

Pronoun	Person	Example sentence
I	1st, singular	I love reading in the evening.
You	2nd, singular and plural	You are very kind.
He	3rd, singular, masculine	He works at a bank.
She	3rd, singular, feminine	She speaks three languages.
It	3rd, singular, thing or animal	It is raining outside.
We	1st, plural	We are going to the park.
They	3rd, plural (also singular)	They arrived early.

A quick tip: “he,” “she,” and “it” are the only ones that take the -s verb ending in the present simple tense. Say “he works” and “she speaks,” but “they work” and “I work.”

He’s and She’s: What Do They Mean?

“He’s” is the short form of “he is” or “he has.” “She’s” works the same way. “He’s” points to a boy or man, and “she’s” points to a girl or woman.

He’s a teacher. (he is)
She’s finished her homework. (she has)

A simple clue: if a past form like “finished” or “gone” follows, it usually means “has.” Otherwise it means “is.”

The apostrophe here does not show ownership. Do not write “he’s book.” Write “his book.”

Are He and She Nouns or Verbs?

In normal use, “he” and “she” are pronouns. “She” is never a verb.

Some dictionaries also list them as nouns for a male or female person or animal, mostly in informal speech.

The puppy is a she.

The confusion with verbs usually comes from the words after “she”:

She explained the rule. (“she” is the subject, “explained” is the verb)
She rules the team. (“rules” is the verb, meaning she leads it)

In slang, “She rules!” simply means she is great.

How to Use “She or He” in a Sentence

“He or she” changes form depending on its job in the sentence. Learn the four forms and you will rarely make a mistake.

As the Subject: He or She

Use it when the person does the action.

He or she must sign the form.
If he or she arrives early, we can start the meeting.

As the Object: Him or Her

Use it when the person receives the action or follows a preposition.

Please contact him or her.
Give the form to him or her.

To Show Possession: His or Her

Use it before a noun to show ownership.

Each employee should check his or her schedule.
A person should keep his or her password secure.

As a Reflexive: Himself or Herself

Use it when the action returns to the subject.

A good teacher asks himself or herself what each student needs.

Here are all the forms in one place.

Role	Gendered	“He or she” version	Singular “they”
Subject	he / she	he or she	they
Object	him / her	him or her	them
Possessive	his / her	his or her	their
Reflexive	himself / herself	himself or herself	themselves (or themself)

A Simple Test for Subject vs Object

Mixing up “he/she” with “him/her” is a very common error. Professor Paul Brians of Washington State University suggests a swap test. Replace the pair with “we” or “us” and see which sounds natural.

• “Us went to the movies” sounds wrong, so you need the subject form: “She and I went to the movies.”
• “The scene scared we” sounds wrong, so you need the object form: “The scene scared her and me.”

If you are not part of the sentence, use “they” and “them” as the test words instead. “They won the lottery” becomes “He and she won the lottery.” “The check was mailed to them” becomes “The check was mailed to him and her.”

He or She vs They: Which Should You Use?

Both are acceptable, but they suit different situations.

Use “he or she” when a style guide, teacher, or legal document asks for it, or when you use it once and the sentence stays easy to read.

Use singular “they” when the person’s gender is unknown or irrelevant, when the phrase would repeat, or when you refer to a person who uses they/them pronouns.

Compare the two:

If a customer loses his or her receipt, he or she should contact the store.
If a customer loses their receipt, they should contact the store.

The second sentence is shorter, smoother, and avoids assuming anything about the customer.

Why Singular “They” Is Now the Standard Choice

Singular “they” is increasingly widespread and is widely treated as correct. LanGeek advises that “he/she,” “s/he,” and “he or she” are less acceptable than singular “they” and should be avoided when possible. Some writers still find it odd because “they” is plural in older grammar rules. In practice, “they” keeps its plural verb form even for one person: we say “they are” and “they have,” never “they is.”

Jordan said they would attend the meeting.

Why Do People Still Say “He/She” Instead of “They”?

Mostly because of habit, formal writing and clarity worries. Singular “they” is accepted, but many people learned “he or she” first.

Common reasons:

• Older school rules and style guides taught “he or she.”
• Legal and formal documents often prefer it.
• Some people still feel “they” should only be plural.
• “They” can be unclear when two people are in one sentence.

Look at this example:

Sam told Alex they would help.

Who will help, Sam, Alex or both? If clarity is the worry, repeat the name or rewrite the sentence instead of falling back on “he/she.”

Three Ways to Avoid the Problem Altogether

1. Make the subject plural. Instead of “Each student should bring his or her book,” write “Students should bring their books.”
2. Use “you” or “one.” “You can learn a lot from books” is natural. “One can learn a lot from books” is correct but formal.
3. Remove the pronoun. “The applicant must be qualified” says everything needed.

One warning from Jakub Marian: do not swap in “she” as the universal pronoun. It is confusing unless the context makes clear that you mean only women.

What Do “She/They” and “She/Them” Mean?

It means the person is happy to be called by both she/her and they/them. “She/them” carries the same idea.

Maya uses she/they pronouns, so “Maya said she would call” and “Maya said they would call” are both fine.

The order may hint at a preference, but do not assume. If you are unsure, follow the person’s own wording or ask politely.

Read More: Cancelled or Canceled? Cancellation Spelling Explained

When Should You Use Each Option?

Situation	Best choice
You know the person uses he/him	Use he, him, his
You know the person uses she/her	Use she, her, her
You know the person uses they/them	Use they, them, their
Gender unknown, general statement	Singular “they” or a plural rewrite
Style guide or legal text requires it	“He or she,” used sparingly
Informal speech	“They” or “you”

The golden rule is simple: if you know which pronouns a person uses, use them. Never guess and never default to “he or she” for someone whose pronouns are known.

Surprising Uses of “She” and “He”

English does not always follow biology when it comes to these pronouns.

“She” is sometimes used for objects with emotional value, such as ships, boats, cars, homes, musical instruments, dolls, and countries.

Look at my boat. She’s a beauty, isn’t she?

“He” is used for God in many religious contexts, and in older generic phrases such as “He who seeks, finds.” Using “he” for an unknown person, as in “Every celebrity wants to be unique no matter how special he is,” is now considered outdated.

“He vs She” Gender Reveal

Many people searching for this phrase are not asking about grammar at all. “He or she?” is the classic question at a baby gender reveal party, where parents-to-be announce whether the baby is expected to be a boy or a girl.

You can use the grammar from this guide in your announcement:

Is it a he or a she? We found out on Saturday!
Will the baby be a he or a she? Cake, balloons, and a big surprise!

Keep one idea in mind: a reveal usually announces the expected sex of the baby based on a medical scan, and a child’s gender identity develops later. Many families now choose wording like “Baby reveal” or “Boy or girl?” for that reason. Either style is fine. Choose the one that suits your family.

“She or He” Answer: Test Yourself

Try these quick questions. Cover the answers and choose the best form.

1. The teacher asked ___ to stay after class. (he or she / him or her)
2. Each employee must show ___ ID card. (he or she / his or her)
3. ___ is responsible for the final report. (He or she / Him or her)
4. Alex said ___ would arrive at noon, and Alex uses they/them. (they / he or she)
5. If a student is absent, ___ should email the teacher. (he or she / they)

Answers:

1. him or her (object of the verb “asked”)
2. his or her (possessive before “ID card”)
3. He or she (subject of the verb “is”)
4. they (the person’s own pronouns)
5. Both are correct. “They” is shorter and more modern.

If you scored 4 or 5, you have the rule down.

Common Mistakes with “He or She”

Using the wrong form. “The teacher spoke to he or she” is incorrect. After “to,” use the object form: “him or her.”

Using the object form as the subject. “Him or her will call tomorrow” is incorrect. Write “He or she will call tomorrow.”

Repeating the phrase. “If a student needs help, he or she should ask the teacher. He or she can also visit the office.” Switch to “they” after the first mention.

Mixing pronouns inside one sentence. “Every applicant should bring his or her ID, and they must sign the form” jumps between styles. Choose one: “Every applicant should bring their ID and sign the form.”

Ignoring a person’s stated pronouns. When you know the person, respect their choice rather than defaulting to “he or she.”

FAQs

1. Is “he or she” singular or plural?

It is singular. It refers to one person, so it takes a singular verb: “He or she is ready.”

2. What does “he/she” mean?

It is a written shorthand that combines “he” and “she” for a person who could be either male or female. It appears in forms and informal writing, but “he or she” reads better in full sentences.

3. Should I write “he/she” or “he or she”?

Write “he or she” in running text. It looks cleaner and reads aloud more easily. Better still, consider singular “they.”

4. Can I use “he or she” in formal or academic writing?

Yes, it is grammatically correct. Check your teacher’s or publisher’s style guide first, because many modern guides accept or prefer singular “they.”

5. What is the difference between “he or she,” “him or her,” and “his or her”?

“He or she” is the subject form, “him or her” is the object form, and “his or her” shows possession. Example: “He or she called, so I phoned him or her back about his or her order.”

6. Is it correct to use “they” for one person?

Yes. Singular “they” is widely accepted for a person whose gender is unknown or irrelevant and for a person who uses they/them pronouns. The verb stays plural: “they are,” “they have.”

7. Why is “she” sometimes used for a ship or a country?

It is a long-standing tradition of treating objects of sentimental value as female. It is optional, and “it” is always acceptable.

8. What should I say if I do not know someone’s pronouns?

Use their name, or use “they” until you learn otherwise. If appropriate, simply ask politely. Avoid guessing based on appearance.

Conclusion:

“He or she” is grammatically correct and useful when you refer to one person who could be male or female. 

Remember the four forms: he or she as subject, him or her as object, his or her to show ownership, and himself or herself for reflexive use. 

Use the phrase sparingly, because repetition makes sentences heavy.

For most everyday writing, singular “they,” a plural rewrite, or simply “you” is shorter and kinder. 

When you know a person’s pronouns, always use them. Choose the option that is clear for your reader, fits your style guide, and respects the people you write about.